Now everyone can have a little fetus inside them

I was walking along, minding my own business at work when there, on an abandoned desk, I saw this.  A cookie-cutter shaped like a fetus.  I yelled, "whose is this!?"  And Tara's head popped over the divider and was like, "OMG, I'm so glad you found it!  Isn't it awesome?  Now everyone can have a little fetus inside them!"  She's currently expecting her first boy.

I had to take a picture.  They are $9 at (wtf? for a cookie cutter!?).

From the website: "Hey, anyone can bake cookies shaped like circles or trees or hearts -- But it takes a special kind of person to make these babies. Just stamp your fetuses out of cookie dough, pop them in the oven, and then let them gestate for a few minutes. When they're done, your kitchen will be filled with the enchanting aroma of fresh baked fetuses."

10 (or 15) Things Google Says I Need

Seems like an old trick cuz I saw a lot of these lists as I went through the exercise.  Go to Google.  Type your first name, and the word "needs."  Put the query in quotes for best results.  List the top 10 (...or 15, like I did).

1. Stephanie needs some help
2. Stephanie needs to be in a family where there are no other children or animals
3. Stephanie needs a strong manly shoulder to lean on (preferably an alpha one)
4. Stephanie needs a behavior modification approach to deal with some residual effects and strong-willedness.
5. Stephanie needs rhinoplasty surgery
6. Stephanie needs to get the women together in an alliance
7. Stephanie needs to get a life
8. Stephanie needs you BAD
9. Stephanie needs a date for Valentine's Day!
10. Stephanie needs a family who can help her strive to participate in structured recreational and social activities
11. Stephanie needs a straw for her tea
12. Stephanie needs to improve but where's Alick?
13. Stephanie needs a sound proofed home to protect her
14. Stephanie needs to pay attention
15. Stephanie needs a training bra

via Reckon

Small bone to pick..

..with Mr. Jason Mraz.  There's a line in "I'm Yours" where he says, "it's your God-forsaken right to be loved..."

I think what he actually means is "God-given."  I mean, why would God forsake (M-W: To renounce or turn away from entirely) one's right to be loved?  That doesn't sound like something God would do.  So either Mr. Mraz needs to brush up on his English-language idioms, or he has a very peculiar and twisted notion of God.  -______-

Blast from the past

I went with my brother to Marukai, one of the largest Japanese specialty markets around here.  Besides the crazy $120/lb. Wagyu beef for sale and the much more reasonably priced sukiyaki I bought, I came across this candy I used to eat when I was a kid: Super Lemon.  Actually they come in a bunch of flavors, like Super Apple and Super Cola.

We used to sell these on the playground for $0.25 apiece to the non-Asian kids who didn't know where to buy them.  Hah!  We were entrepreneuer-capitalists even back then.

I always loved the cheeky comic-book packaging.  "OH! Powerful Candy."

Odd instruments I was given this weekend


Exhibit A: A simple wooden tool sent to Garry and I by M, who had just completed the Paris leg of her round-the-world trip with J.  The only clue we got--it was "something to play with in the kitchen."  For the longest time Garry and I couldn't for the life of us figure out what it was.

Exhibit B: A fish-tail looking thing made of silver.  I noticed it on my friend Jules' bookshelf this weekend at her housewarming party.  She promptly offered it to me, and the instrument in Exhibit C (see below), because someone else had given it to her and she didn't want it.  The only clue I had was the etching at the top: "Mariage Freres Paris."

Exhibit C: Also from Juliana.  Clearly a spoon with a mother-of-pearl bowl and a delicately silver-smithed handle that reads, "Christoph Widmann .925"  But what is it for?

Guessing CLOSED.

ANSWERS: A = Crepe stick/spreader.  B = Tea scoop.  C = Caviar spoon.  So I think between everyone ya'll got it right!

Well, this sounds like an interesting job for my skillset...

...except it's for Britney Spears' team, and these ppl clearly have no idea what 'digital media' even means.  Lord, I don't even know how to react to people who talk like this (e.g., "leveraged by a branded social network.")

IF, for some reason, this sounds appealing to you, let me know and I can try forwarding on your resume.


Job Posting - Britney Spears 2.0 Media Manager

Thu Jan 8, 2009 3:43 pm (PST)

Hey H-Bomb Britney Fans,

Brandcasting Unlimited currently manages and all Britney's digital media and online properties (YT, Fb, MS, Twitter, ect). We are looking for a Social Media guru to help manage Britney's network and other high profile branded networks, the job description and responsibilities are listed below.

Job Description:
  • Manage a high profile branded online network of digital properties for one of World's top celebrities.
  • Responsible for driving and optimizing traffic from exclusive photos and videos.
  • Decide which content to feature on the branded social network's blogs, discussion forms, and other features.
  • Work with Talent and management to ensure that new and approved content is constantly being added to the network.
  • Moderate videos, photos and comments added to the network.
  • Manage a team of Administrators to assist you with Managing the network.
  • Develop interactive programs such as contests, for Members of the social network.
  • Design new skins of the social network and assign Administrators.
  • Produce marketing campaigns via email and on other websites to spread the awareness of the network.
  • Manage the social networks' traffic analytics reports and Membership data.
  • Engage with fans by posting messages, responding to questions, and moderating discussions.
  • Analyze community activity and conversation to deliver key learnings to advise content strategy and brand positioning.
Jobs Skills Needed:
  • You are a Social media expert with Googloe Analytics, SEO and SEM experience.
  • You have experience building, launching and managing communities online.
  • You are addicted to social networks such as MySpace and Facebook, technology and social media blogs, and playing around with new technologies such as Twitter. You are constantly thinking about how they can be leveraged by a branded social network.
  • You love creating and maintaining relationships.
  • You are an analytics nerd and adore metrics because they show-off your success and help you determine new goals.
  • You have some design / photo-shop experience.
  • You know how to moderate content and when to ban party crashers.
  • You are a popular culture addict and passionate about the intersection of Silicon Valley and Hollywood.

Figures =(

I have this cow-brown Kenneth Cole cropped, double-breasted leather aviator jacket with huge lapels that I bought on major sale two years ago ($150, down from $400).  Until today, I never wore it because I thought it would make me look like an assassin (all I need are spike-heeled boots and big sunglasses).  Or, at least, an aviator.

When I took it out of the garment bag this morning, cut off the tags and put it on over some regular clothes, though, I realized it looked fine.  Good, even.  So I was pretty happy about that as I went to work.

Then of course, at lunch, I somehow got hummus smeared onto the sleeve.  Now it's got these ugly stains and I don't know how to get rid of them without ruining the leather =( =( =(

Isn't it ironic?