How to guarantee a woman will NEVER call you back.

This is one of the most absurd things I have ever heard.  So a friend of a coworker was hanging in SF's Marina district one night.   She was out on the sidewalk trying to hail a cab, when a guy approached and talked to her for all of  two minutes.  She hands him her business card and says "Call me."  These are two ACTUAL voicemails that this guy left on her phone. 

What kills me is that there are real guys out there like this--he's definitely not an actor.  I know I have my favorite quotes--what are yours?

28 responses
Omg. Let's see, "I'm giving you a 3 o'clock deadline," "maybe you are abused in childhood," "I'm giving you an opportunity here," "if you are on any kind of medication, I'm not interested."

Omg.

OMFG.

Priceless.

damn, someone else beat me to the punch and posted on his site, too. http://www.holytaco.com/2008/06/27/the-douchiest-phone-message-in-history/

Apparently he IS an actor. A porn star. But I don't think he was acting when he left this message. http://www.dimitrithelover.com/

Wow, he just laid out a contract there.
Of course this is a joke...has to be! "I am one of the few men in the city who has nothing wrong with him." But he was also very careful to say "I am erasing your name" so that he could not easily be accused of stalking.
you gotta give it to the guy, he was proactive... but then again, relationships that are run like a business do not always survive a M&A.

(P.S. you can get straight to the point with compliments on a lady without waxing poetic on yourself.)

haha but empty compliments are def not the way to go... and this guy
apparently uses the "you're elegant" line on every woman he tries to pick
up.

fucking psycho...!! need i say more... watch out girls... guys always complaining that we are the psychiotic ones... here is a prime example of the other side at it's best!!

love it!!

j

LOL -- Getting this from a number of friends who were quite impressed. Hope you are doing well since Beijing :)

this descended from funny to scary after looking at sanny liao's link.

3 O'clock you passive aggressive trick, call me! If you don't call me by 3 tomorrow I'm not interested in you! Even though I spent 5 hrs herearsing what I was going to say to your elegant stuck up ass!! You need to take your medication and look up passive aggressive.

Yeah it's pretty crazy all the stuff people have been digging up on him.
Like this ridiculous radio interview:

http://blog.mattyu.ca/post/40106926/radio-interview-with-dimitri-the-lover-a-sort-of

This guy rules. He really knows how to talk to chicks.

I THINK IF SHE IS ON MEDICATION SHE SHOULD SHARE IT WITH HIM IW OULD SAY HIS BLOW UP DOLL HAD ENOUGH 4 MONTHS AGO THATS WHY HE IS SINGLE SEND HIM AN AIR PATCH

He's a psycho...her name is Olga. Any questions?

I am one of the other type of guy out there. I have things wrong with me not like this Dimitri guy.
I have learned a few things about girls, so if any girls out there trying avoid guys with more front than Myers like Dimitri. Email me for gentle loving with a dial to turn up the heat at your own pace.

WHAT A WANKER!

I think that comment just about sums it up.

I think that comment just about sums it up.

Well Olga…. It’s 3:00 PM and I am out on the ledge of my building (an elegant building actually) waiting for you to return my call. Apparently you have many mental issues and do not know a real catch when you meet one. I am Greek and directly descended from Greek Gods…. (the elegant ones of course) and stupid mental dumb Olga…you are probably a test tube baby…. Instead of meeting me in the street I should have pushed her into traffic…….sigh……
Oh Olga……Olga… I am a big Greek loser and you were my last chance at dating… all my friends hate me and my parents do too….please call me back….please…..please…. ahh to hell with it…I am jumping…maybe I can hit that elegant car that is coming down the street…

Okay.......he's pretty conficrazy....(confident&crazy) .....This is so bluntly outdone I can't say if he's crazy or just real as it gets.
I vote for crazy.

There's nothing wrong with him?! Uh buddy, you'd better get your ass to a Dr to get a psych evaluation cuz you've got some major issues!

Dude... get a clue.

This guy is unreal. He really is God's gift to all women.
lol i know this is old ... but this guy reads sites like Doc Love's "The System" or any of those other "Dating Guru's" hahahah reads them to the tee like he reads that stuff ever day.... please forward this to Doc Love hahah
To my mind one and all must browse on it.
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